Releasing Unnecessary Ties

Inspiring change from within

A warrior must only take care that his spirit is never broken.

- Shissa

The Way of the Warrior

Releasing Unnecessary Ties

As we go through life, we meet and connect with people every day from the clerk at 7-11 to the deepest love thought possible. When those connections are temporary, the release is easy because the connection was uneventful. When the connections are deep, meaningful and life-changing, even though a parting may occur, the ties still bind.

What do those ties represent? All ties represent an exchange of energy. Imagine little, silky threads that reach out and attach themselves to the person with whom you connect. Likewise, those silky threads are connecting back to you as well from that other person. These threads are channels through which your energy flows out and from that person. If the person with whom you are involved is positive, energetic and honorable, there is little concern with your energy being abused or depleted. However, when a relationship does not go well or ends poorly, those ties may diminish your energy and your thoughts of that person will continue to feed the open channel of energy exchange.

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The purpose of this meditation is to reclaim your power and energy by retracting the silky threads you extended during the relationship. Additionally, this exercise will allow you to release the threads they extended to you in order to restrict any drain on your energy. This exercise is not meant to be a negative expression of relationships but rather a reclamation of the power sometimes carelessly extended to someone without retrieval who is no longer a necessary part of your life.

Begin the meditation by clearly asking yourself a few important questions:
  • Is this relationship one that could be considered life-changing? That is, was it important enough for you remember it well into the future?
  • Was the energy exchange between you primarily positive and growth-inducing or was it negative and debilitating?
  • Do you still send thoughts to this person?
  • Are your memories generally good or do they make you sad?
  • Do you feel connected to this person even though the relationship has ended?
  • Do you want to be connected to this person even though the relationship has ended?
The point of these questions is to help you clarify who has been important and has had long-term impact on your life. These are the relationships that you may want to seek a disconnection from if the relationship has ended. However, the exercise is not designed to remove positive memories and growth lessons from your awareness but rather simply to reclaim your power and energy by releasing any unnecessary or unneeded ties that bind you and no longer serve a purpose. When you can identify, recognize and utilize your energy with full awareness, you have more control over the outcome of your life in all of its many aspects. Primarily, you should be focusing on relationships where you have invested considerable amounts of energy, where the relationship has definitely ended and where you wish to no longer expend your energy in that direction. This is not a negative expression of lost love or defining of enemies, but clearly a means of recouping your energies that are scattered out there in the ethers.

Let's begin with a few moments of relaxation, lying down to begin if you wish, but sitting upright comfortably once you have reached the relaxed state that will allow you to begin your meditation. As usual, using breath control will help you reach this deepened state of relaxation easily and quickly. When ready, sit up with the shoulders relaxed and the back straight. Make sure that the head is centered comfortably on your neck and your eyes are closed.

Begin with a soft image of the person upon whom you wish to focus and seek to find where the silky threads from that person to you might be connected. Explore your body with your mind and find all the threads that come from that person to you. Imagine that those threads are a light blue in color. As you see the threads, count them and clearly identify their connection points. With your head centered to begin, pull in a breath deeply into your lower abdomen, slowly turning your head to the right until your breath is complete and your head is turned to the right. Pause and very slowly begin to release the breath as your head sweeps back to center, on to the left and after a slight pause comes back to center, all on the out breath.

As you continue this detaching breath sweep, imagine that the connection points of the silky blue threads are loosening. After a thread detaches, you will see it withdraw back to the person who originally sent it to you and it will disappear. Continue the detaching sweeping breath until all of the blue threads have disappeared.

Now change your viewpoint to those threads you have sent out and attached to the other person. These threads are a soft red in color. See clearly the attachment points and note where they are attached to the other person. Once you are fully aware of how many threads you have sent out to this person and where you have attached the threads, begin the sweeping breath again, this time in reverse. That is, as you pull the breath in, move your head slowly to the left as you fill the abdomen with air and after pausing, release the breath as your head sweeps slowly to the right, pauses slightly and returns to center as the air is fully released.

Each releasing breath sweep will result in the red silky thread being removed from its attachment point and being absorbed back into your energy pool. The threads should not be difficult to remove, but if there are some stubborn points, then simply move to another thread and continue breathing and releasing. You can move back to those threads that did not seem to want to release and try again. If they still do not want to let go, leave them until you can repeat this meditation exercise at another time.

Keep in mind that this exercise is designed to re-energize you by recapturing the energy threads you have left behind in relationships that no longer serve a purpose. Is there a time when you do not want to retrieve your energy after a relationship has ended? Perhaps. Just be clear as to why you might want to do this and why you might want to leave open channels of energy exchange with someone who is no longer in your life.

Another point of observance for you to consider is where the origination point of each thread. Does it come from that person's heart to a point on your body? And from where do your threads leave your body to attach to theirs. The origination points can vary and give you some thoughtful moments. This might be a concept for you to explore, especially if you have difficulty with the release of some of those threads.

We have many, many people with whom we have exchanged experiences in life including employers, friends, relatives and lovers. We have even more casual contacts that we also drop threads of energy onto every day unwittingly. Realistically, it would take months and months or perhaps even years to completely retrieve all your energy points even if you could recall who waited on you in that restaurant 8 years ago on February 7th. In addition, you are continually extending and receiving energy threads as you go through your daily life. So focus on those relationships that have served their purpose and for whom you might have invested considerable energy. If you think the relationship is now in your past, use this exercise to clean up your energy pool and reclaim your power.

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Chesa Keane has taught meditation and self-help for more than 30 years. To learn more about Meditation tools and techniques and an introduction to a unique meditation tool, the TAO Totem, visit: .